and.

balance isn't "either/or". balance is "and". --unknown

i was just wasting time on the internet. nothing new for me. except today has been an extreme case of the i-don't-want-to-do-my-homework-blues. sometimes it hits really hard. and i get, well, blue.

i've really been struggling lately with the idea of balance. not so much for now. i feel balanced now. i go to school, do the homework i should (minus the days when i have the homework-blues), sometimes call myself social, and i try my best to prioritize the relationships that matter to me most. so no, not so much balance for now. but balance for the future.

the prospect of being balanced seems, at times, so daunting. now is one of those times. thinking about time management, money management, life management...it all is a bit too overwhelming a bit too often.

and yet it is exciting.

i am trying to get a group started at school. it will be a resource group for women in medicine. i will try to bring in guest speakers to talk about un-said issues that i know almost every woman who has committed herself to medicine has struggled with. children. family. marriage. finances. time. day-care. balance. so far, i've gotten an amazing response. there was even a class-wide email sent out that encouraged all the men to attend...i am excited to see what becomes of it.

most of the time, i am up for challenges. especially when i feel like God is pushing me along...wanting me to try to ride my bike without my 'training wheel' buffer in case i find myself off-balance. and i think there is one challenge in particular that he is slowly unscrewing the training wheels for. it is a big one....a life-changing one for sure. a challenge that will require incredible dedication, extreme prayers, and ultimate understanding. as time goes on, i am getting more comfortable with the idea. and getting more confident that God will provide the wisdom & patience necessary to find balance in the midst of it all.