Tuesday, January 22, 2008

help.

i need help today. remembering why i am here, 5 hours away from my husband. i need help remembering why i came here in the first place, signing up for who-knows-how-many-years apart. and i need help knowing that we made the right choice in the first place...and really, that everything is going to be okay.

because it is days like these that drag on. that make it seem like decades from now that we might, possibly live together. eons into the future that the globe might align to make us at least next door neighbors...and centuries until we just see each other again.

i know that some people are much worse-off. i know that there are women who haven't seen their husbands in 15 months, or more. and i am lucky. i do know that much.

but it still doesn't help with the feelings. given, it makes it just a little harder to feel sorry for myself. God wacks me upside the head with a humble stick when he floods my brain with those stories of years apart during WWII. and i can't sulk in my own misery.

my humanity wants to know. that the future will work out. that we will be okay--that we'll at least live together sooner than later. and that this crazy decision (that on days like today i am tempted to regret) was the right one.

i guess that is where i have to learn to TRUST.
and that is the part i'm having trouble with.

1 comment:

Slices of Life said...

I, being human myself, can't really help much. But the big guy with the three O's under His belt knows exactly how you feel. He is omniscient, He is omnipresent and He is omnipotent. Jer. 32:27 rings out the single, faith-building, hope-reviving truth: that nothing is too hard or impossible with God. You can depend and trust the Lord with the "impossiblities" that seem to invade your every thought about your future. He specializes in the "what if's". I will be praying for you today and the next...hang in there, friend. Love to you! :)

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