wasting time.

so i'll admit it: i've wasted the last 1.5 hours (of which i was supposed to be testing & studying) just doing nothing. and i'll also admit that doing nothing, except eating popcorn and surfing the web is perhaps the most glorious thing i've done all week.

i mean, don't get me wrong, cleaning the bathroom and doing my dishes is almost as fun as a trip to the moon, but this popcorn & internet thing could seriously become a habit....and not a good one, at that.

i've been almost obsessed lately with projects. probably for the sole reason that i don't have much time to do anything other than study & sleep (the latter of which i'm lucky to get). i spend all my days with my nose (or face, if i happen to fall asleep) in a book. and then go to the gym to debrief. nothing like lifting weights to the sweet sound of pathologies running through my head. :)

but this fascination i've had lately with creativity probably won't come to any sort of substantial or tangible thing for oh, the next 5 years while i finish up my training. i mean, who knows, maybe the hospital will hire me to scrapbook about their crisp linens (free of blood stains!) and mint-green stairwells. and maybe they'll even offer to pay back all my loans if i scrapbook the stairwells well enough.

wishful thinking.

in the meantime, though, i'll just continue to drool. on my books when i fall asleep in them. and at the days of the women whose lives are filled with creative portals of paper and fabric and scissors and glue.

someday i'll get bitten by the creative bug again. but until then, i'll just keep scratching at that invisible itch.....