dear bathroom designers...

dear bathroom designers...

i am writing to you to plead my case. and actually, i'm wondering if your logic was somehow misplaced when you designed the bathrooms at my school. you see, THEY LACK VENTILATION. there are many things i enjoy about using the facilities that you so time-consumingly designed: the graffitti-free stalls, the calming minty green color (the minty part of which in no way reflects on the smell of the area), and the coordinating sinks & toilets (was it hard to find those fine white thrones??). but i must say, that YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY ON DRUGS when you finalized the bathroom ventilation system because, oh...there ISN'T ONE.

you know, the truth is that i usually only use public bathrooms in dire, i-might-die-if-i-don't-pee-now-situations. but i do know quite a few--judging by the smell--that feel comfortable to dump last nights (or last weeks, depending on their fiber intake) dinner in your diamond white porcelin thrones. and while the bathrooms sleek & stylish facade look clean, that is exactly what it is....a facade. because judging by the potency of the smell (which is often noticable outside the bathroom door), there are E.coli & salmonella particles floating around and up my nostrils when i just happen to use the potty in urgency.

so please, for the sake of sanity, sanitary-ity, and BASIC PLEASURE...install bathroom FANS in the next set of school bathrooms you design.

thank you--from my nostrils....to my....nostrils.

Yours Truely,

The Nose