Thursday, April 24, 2008

not in my future.

as evidenced by this mornings experience, i am quite positive that proctology is not in my future. i mean, some people really dig sticking their fingers up other people's poop holes (haha), feeling around in there for all sorts of growths & abnormalities that the body can push out (pun entirely intended). not me.

perhaps i'm just not deep enough (oh see, now i'm starting to get funny), but i will admit that it was a bit of a traumatizing experience. probably because (a) it was a 50-something male, (b) fingers aren't meant to search in those deep dark places of other peoples...eehheemm....bodily cavities and (c) it was an assisted exam...which means that the person receiving the exam told me what to do...and worse yet, told me how it felt.

if you'd like an incredibly akward experience, i recommend one similar to what i experienced this morning.

i just hope my faulty-pocker-face stayed in bed.

in other news, this is day TWO of success in my quest to become a morning person. which, as i take it, is a sure-fire-sign that i am getting older. those teenage hormones aren't quite as ramped up...and my melatonin isn't making me a robotic-sleeps-in-until-1pm-person anymore--at least not all the time. and now (in my old[er] age), i long to wake up with the sun. have a quiet morning over Hazelnut drink mix (with caffeine!) & oatmeal. and just be. there aren't many other times in the day that just being is possible. especially when i lay in bed for two hours at night thinking about my grocery list or my to-do list or the floors that need to be swept or the future....at which time sheer panic enters my darkened room & hours (literally!) pass before i enter my first REM cycle.

so this quest of waking up with the sun has been a goal of mine for a few months now. and i've failed miserably thus far. but THIS WEEK...just might be the beginning of something new. yesterday i got up at 6:55. today it was 6:45. and heck, that is progress, don't you think? i mean, TEN WHOLE MINUTES....!!!!

i've been thinking about starting a goal of going on a quick run in the morning (ahh...another one of my life-long goals: to become a runner...isn't happening now). or take a jaunt to the gym & study on the elliptical until i'm sweaty & smelly & have burned my 500 calories (my pants are getting tight, okay??!!).

but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

on the other hand, this morning-person-ness is really taking a toll on my body. my left eyelid has been twitching non-stop since yesterday morning. and although i will admit that i am stressed out & emotionally drained & WalMart-ed out & ready to move to NC for the summer & not enjoying learning or studying or school right now, i didn't think my eye-twitching had anything to do with it.

turns out i was wrong. apparently it is a sign of fatigue.

dang it!

i guess this morning-person stuff isn't working in my favor. perhaps rising with the sun isn't in my future either...along with proctology.

2 comments:

Slices of Life said...

hey j'...just have a baby and then you won't have a choice to reaching your goals. :) totally kidding there! but it is true nonetheless...i think i'm just trying to ignore the fact that i am forced to become adapted to this morning-person-ness. and yeah, still not 'getting used to it.' my mom says it goes away after everyone leaves the house. ha!

Sarah said...

big j - i will try not to think about this experience the next time we shake hands (maybe a hug instead) or if you ever have us over for dinner.we think you are awesome and if that is what it takes for you to become Dr. J then hurray! you are one more step closer to your dream.

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