a seed of fear.

For the time being, it’s almost more than I can bear. I’m a planner—I think that is well established by now. And I’m a worry-er—also well established. And being both of the above makes me embarrassingly needy at times, filling my head with nightmare-ish thoughts and plunging me into a spinning pool of “what ifs”.

And I’m here. I’ve been plunged. My head is spinning. My heart is needy. And my calendar needs to be filled in for July 2010.

But it’s in the patience that character is developed, or so I’m told. And it’s in the waiting that the heart grows fonder. And it’s in the downs when we appreciate the ups, in the cold of winter when we most recognize the value of the sun’s warmth. And in the depths of the unknown lies the yet undiscovered comfort of the Lord’s embrace.

Great acts of faith are seldom born out of calm calculation.

It wasn’t logic that caused Moses to raise his staff on the bank of the Red Sea…

And it wasn’t a confident committee that prayed in a small room in Jerusalem

for Peter’s release from prison.

It was a fearful, desparate, bank of backed-into-a-corner believers.

It was a church with no options…

And never were they stronger.

At the beginning of every act of faith,

there is often a seed of fear.

–Max Lucado