conversation.

i've spent the last two days with a PM&R (Pain Management & Rehabilitation) doctor--which has proved to be quite an experience. Yesterday I listened to people in "pain" (in quotes because i don't believe all of them to be legit) complain about how miserable their lives were (can you tell i'm short on sympathy?)...and today i spent the day in an in-patient rehab clinic working with speech, physical, & occupational therapy.

it was quite an eye opening experience, as i've never had any reason to visit any of the above fields' offices...and one patient in particular made me chuckle more than any other...

bits of her conversation with the speech therapist:

{first of all, let me set the stage for you: patients visit speech therapy for 30 minutes at least once per day. located in a small office at a corner table, the therapist takes patients through a series of exercises that, depending on the patient's ability & reason for admission involves anything from "repeat after me" phrases to complex math questions...it also needs to be said that apparently this patient was admitted & barely spoke during the first week of her stay--needless to say the times have changed in her world...}

therapist: (referring to my presence in the room) She's just observing, is that okay Mrs. Ringer*?

Mrs. Ringer: I'm observing my hind end right now...is that okay with YOU??!!?

therapist: Repeat after me..."rose...sweater...hamburger"

Mrs. Ringer: rose...sweating...booger

therapist: Okay...repeat these numbers "9...2...1...8...4...7...2"

Mrs. Ringer: OH LORD JESUS HAVE ooooooooooooo MERCY where in be-Jesus are you gettin' those numbers?

therapist: From this test, m'aam--off the paper in front of me. Can you repeat this sentence?

Mrs. Ringer: OH LORD JESUS HAVE ooooooeeeeeeeoooooo MERCY my hind end is burning like yesterday's coleslaw

therapist: oh wow. i'm sorry...m'aam can you repeat this sentence?..."I drove down Mercy Street & took a right at Stockton Avenue"

Mrs. Ringer: Gah!!! Well be-Jesus...I am NOT from this town...

therapist: Well m'aam, this question isn't about this town...its just a sentence off this test in front of me...can you repeat the sentence i just told you??

Mrs. Ringer: silence

therapist: Okay, well...then what did you do yesterday?

Mrs. Ringer: I do believe i was sitting on my tail a-hollerin' like crazy...

therapist: umm...okay...How long have you been here?

Mrs. Ringer: Long enough to have a STROKE!!!!

therapist: What did you do before you came to see me today?

Mrs. Ringer: Oh I don't know...OH WAIT...I was hollerin' with my tail...and OOOEEEEEEOOOOOOEEEEE I am STILL hollerin' with my tail....can you help my tail??




*patient's name has been changed