Saturday, November 15, 2008

Why is it?

Why is it…

That when old people die in their sleep, we take a deep breath, find a memory, say that “they had a good, long life”…and move on with our lives?

That when old people die from a horrible disease we wish they would have died sooner, more peacefully; the justification of the disease often not even questioned.

That when old people lose their spouses we attend the funeral, marvel at their 50 years of marriage and go about our days as if they have nothing to offer.

Why is it…

That when young people die we are struck with grief for months, even years on end; we forget to breathe, proclaim that they didn’t live long enough for us to find a memory, and sulk in the fact that they were shortchanged on life.

That when young people die from a horrible disease we wish they would have lived longer, disease free; the justification of the disease questioned daily because it just “isn’t fair”.

That when young people die and leave spouses behind we attend the funeral, shed more tears than we have in the last three years combined, build a monument of sympathy for their widow and proclaim how much they would have had to offer, had they lived just a little bit longer.

Why is it that we feel the death of someone older is justified, but death of someone younger is always unfair?

Why is it that our hearts break for the young widow but barely skip a beat for the elderly widower of a Golden Marriage filled with fifty years of memories?

Why is it that people flock to the funerals of the young, clearing out schedules & missing appointments, while the memorials of the old are filled only with their remaining friends and a few acquaintances because we had a hair appointment that day at 1pm?

Why is it that regardless of the age, regardless of the life, regardless of the spouse or profession or contribution, we forget to remember that they LIVED.

And that LIVING is a feat in itself….

take a moment to read a few posts on this blog:
(this man's wife passed away last year at age 33 from cancer, leaving him behind with three young children...this blog is about his grieving process...i was moved to tears)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Your "Why is is?" post was well worth the read. Thank you.

And thanks for steering some to our blog about honouring Marisa.

I don't know how to converse with you but I did have some comments that might be better done personally. If you want to do that, please leave a comment on our blog and we can do that.

I wish you peace,


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