Thursday, October 20, 2005

walk by faith

Live by faith, not by sight. --2 Cor. 5:7

i just got back from one of the most incredible concerts i have ever been to. another one to chalk up to God's glory and amazing sense of knowing. He totally knew that i hadn't connected with people, with old friends, with Him in too long--and so He brought me to this concert.

bethany truly a light in this world. God has provided her a maturity beyond her years, a gift of writing beyond what we call talent, and a passion that is out of this world. truly amazing.

the afters were equally incredible. i admire their unending faithfulness and their true desire to share the Word with the World. they chose the small path and made it big. i pray that they will continue to chose the path God wants them to be on--and that their hearts will be guarded from the temptations of this world so that they might be beacons of hope and grace and God's true love.

but jeremy camp stole the show. i saw him this summer @ CreationWest; this time the show was, like, 15 times better. he has a gift, a story, and a heart to share--and man, does he do it well. God's presence was all over the place tonight in LifeCenter--and it was good to feel that comfort again.

more than the music, though, was the amazing message that reached not only my ears, but my heart tonight. lately i have been so wrapped up in "me". in my future, in my grades, in my interests; i haven't taken the time--or haven't wanted to take the time--to figure out what God truly wants me to do and where he wants me to be. sure...i am walking by faith--but on my walk do i realize how broken i really am?

think of this. one afternoon, i decide to take a walk. i am confident in my ability to make it all the way to the top of a large hill and back down--safely, mind you. and so i set off on my journey. but when i try to take my first step, i fall--flat on my face. i get up. a little while later i might trip and fall again, this time injuring myself in the process. i can't keep going!--but i do. i keep walking. thinking i am fine. thinking i am cool. thinking i am getting a good 'workout'. but in reality my thoughts are all misperceptions.

the fall i took in the beginning might have been God's gentle way of telling me that i was starting out on the wrong foot--quite literally. i fall when i think i can control it all, when i think i know it all, and when i think that i am all. subsequent falls might be the falls that i make myself in life--the bad choices, the stabbing words, the ignorance, the sins. each of them is a fall--and each of them makes me broken. but lately, instead of realzing just how hurt and broken i really am, i have just kept on keeping on. i just keep on walking. how stubborn am i?!? i keep falling and don't even want to realize that each fall is breaking me.

tonight jeremy called it our carpet-time. when we fall flat on our faces, he said, maybe that is God's way of telling you to "stay there" and that He wants to make you whole again. BUT that can only happen if we rest, keep our noses planted in the shag of the rug, and trust Him to heal us.

so thanks, God. thanks bethany and jeremy and all the afters. thank you for your music. for your words. for sharing your gift. you touched a life tonight--my life. and you touched my heart.

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