Thursday, April 20, 2006


puffy has toxic levels of drugs in his blood--all prescribed by the vet, mind you. poor little guy. they lowered his dose but he might have to undergo transfusion. taking out all the old blood, filtering it (simply), and putting it back in. complicated process for such a lil' guy.

sometimes i wish, in the most non-physically-unrealistic sense ever, that my mood could undergo detox. yesterday was most definitely a trying day. but encouragement helped. hugs helped. support and understanding helped...a lot.

i hate to 'test' God. i'm not supposed to do that. but it's just when i get discouraged, frustrated, under-the-weather-feeling-sorry-for-myself...that God totally pulls through--detoxifies my mood.

and again, He totally provided. i signed the lease for the house in WV that i originally wanted (but there were 2 people in line ahead of me...). SO excited about it. beginning to seriously sink in that i am moving. across the country. on my own. by my lonesome. knowing no one. totally trusting that God will provide friendships, mentors, a church family, a place to call comfortable....focused, dedicated, restricted knowledge. so much is on the horizon--more than i can comprehend right now. but, like i said, God has totally pulled through. He opened this door wiiiiidddeeeeee open....and waited for me to walk through. well i'm walking God....but cautiously, mind you.

watched little jessa today. what a bundle of joy. innocent. sweet. vibrant. peek-a-boo was funny. picture books were real. a bowl of animal crackers was a feast. life was big, huge. needed that reminder. needed to get rid of the selfish notion that my life should come first, that my needs and wants should be a top priority. needed to see sacrifice, discipline, innocence; to see again that life is, indeed, bigger than me. needed that detox.

the sun was warm today. did homework today--which, by the way, i actually thoroughly enjoyed [kinda know i am a nerd when i walk through the library and breathe a sigh of relief because it feels so much like home]. the night was perfect--totally wanted to take a walk. got a call from a friend i haven't heard from since december today...she makes me smile :) to see my favorite dude as well. gosh he is so freakin' cool ;) lucky to know him....proud that he is part of my life.

so this has been one detox sorta day today. much needed transfusion--out with the old, in with the new. hoping that holds for tomorrow as well :)

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