burn away

Holy Fire burn away,

my desire for anything

that is not of you and is of me.

I want more of you and less of me.

Holy Fire burn away,

my desire for anything

that is not of you and is of me,

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,

Empty me, yeah,

Fill, won't you fill me,

with you, with you, yeah.

(Empty Me, Jeremy Camp)

change is in the air. i can feel it. i can feel it in my hands and in my heart.

the leaves have changed; once alive with green, now to colors of Sahara sunsets and crimson flames. gentle reminders that we must be willing to give up our own lives--our own greenery--in order for God to change the color of our lives a little. reminders that sometimes we must fall from where it is comfortable, high in the trees or high on our worldly pedestals, to a place of lowliness. reminders that God has something much much better in mind for our fallen leaves, our fallen souls and hearts and lives. reminders that the sun will rise, the cold spell of winter will end, and life will bloom green again.

the air has changed. once laden with the sounds of new creation, the air has gotten colder--and quieter. in the morning the new frost nips at my skin in vulnerable places; in the afternoon the barely-moving molecules tease warmth and sun and summer, and in the evening i am reminded of the comfort and blessings that fill my daily existence. the frost--its playful, daily changes--remind me that i am vulnerable. vulnerable to the elements, vulnerable to hurt and change and disappointment. vulnerable to what life might throw at me. that i might be warmed ever-so-slightly by the pleasures of this earth, but that those pleasures are purely temporary. that when evening falls again, when trials or temptations or difficulties fill my days, those pleasures won't sustain me. but then, just like frost in the evening, God nudges me and sends love for my humanity and trials for my personal growth, for the realization that this earth is temporary, and for the reminder to be grateful.

but more than the leaves and the air, i am feeling my heart is changing. maybe daring to journey on a road i've never dared to travel before. daring to question my plan...daring to expose God's plan. and so tonight i am praying for God's desires. for my future. for my life. for my attitude, my plans, my heart's new journey. praying that my desires will burn away and reveal His desire for my life.