Saturday, November 12, 2005

good day

good day today. good day.

took some "me" time. finally.

listened to some amazing music. read. reflected. journaled. thought. laughed (at my mom who called me from the 'emergency' nurse phone @ Camp Ghormley and told me something ridiculous she did). cleaned. finished a paper. studied. lots done. good day.

my heart is slowly calming down. it's not as heavy today. thanks Jesus.

coming to grips with the fact that worrying isn't helping me. coming to realize that my future will work itself has thus far, right? coming to learn that when i reflect and pray and ponder and rest, i see things in a different light. and most importantly coming to know that i'm not in control of anything at all. not my plan. not my productivity. not my sleep schedule or homework. not my friends or family or relationships. especially not my future.

not counting on anything my heart desire's right now. not med school. not good grades this semester. not a predictable future. not a family of my own. nothing. not counting on anything my heart desires but counting on everything His plan dictates.

preparing myself to be ready to accept where the road leads. preparing myself to be vulnerable to any decisions that are out of my hands--which is all of them. preparing myself for new things, a new journey, new paths. preparing myself for another good day tomorrow.

(above picture found on Google images; edited by me :) )

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